Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A modest proposal.

As you probably know, this last election carried several proposals involving gay marriage.
Like anything involved with any marriage the issue is emotionally charged.

After listening to and reading quite a bit of commentary on the issue, I have noticed several topics that are frequently brought up in this debate that REALLY need to be corrected.

First - we should make absolutely clear that being homosexual means you are attracted to someone of the same sex. It does NOT mean you are attracted to children. That is a pedophile and is a completely seperate thing. Reported cases of rape, incest and abuse are far more likely to come from those who identify themselves as heterosexual (simply due to the percentages involved) ... and not infrequently, married heterosexuals.
Bringing up things like incest, abuse and pedophileia in this discussion is a "bait and switch tactic" and frankly could be a charge leveled by the gay community as a strike against the "straight" community.

Secondly - the idea that "We the People" must marry for the sake of breeding or we will die out, is ludicras. This scenario went extinct well over a century ago (in the US) and yet somehow people still want to desperately cling to it.

Homosexuals didn't just show up on some space ship. They have been around since man has been around and they have been in our population, mostly in hiding, since the first sailors set foot here.
Yet, the US population has grown steadily and at an ever increasing pace since the turn of the century. Acknowledging the presence of what has been here all along is NOT going to suddenly stop population growth. It's time for people to stop letting themselves be frightened by this fairy tale.

Finally - marriage under assualt? Hardly.
The census numbers show that marriage has been in steady increase since the 60's. A search of both the census bureau web site and the CDC didn't show the data listed by percentages but the numbers themselves have increased steadily.
Also, data prior to 1950 is actually hard to quantify due to the way it was collected. No one went door to door back then asking if you were a single parent and if you were married or divorced like they did AFTER 1950. They just counted the number of divorce papers that had been granted and were still on file.

Lower divorce rates pre 1950 simply DO NOT equate to more successful marriages.
The fact that people weren't tracked with social security numbers like they are now, meant that men didn't have to spend the time, expense or embarrassment of going through a divorce. They could just LEAVE their families and start over somewhere else with absolutely no record being left behind. Further, men were considered legal head of the household so even if a woman was allowed to file for a divorce, it was unlike it would be granted until the judge had heard from the husband.
On top of that, having the money to file for a divorce simply wasn't an option available to many women then.

This cake is a lie people.
Marriages failed in the past just as often as they do now ... back in "the good old days" there was just less "official" divorce and more people living in their own personal hell with no hope of escape.

Final thought (for now)
Here is the most important point I would make.

Homosexuality is not some fad. Just because you deny them the right to have their unions recognized as a "legal" marriage, does not mean that they will just give-up and go away.

I don't know how many people we are talking about here but it is has proven to be a rather substantial economic and voting block. These are your neighbors, doctors, lawyers, teachers, public officials and even clergy and like it or not, society has already begun changing to fit them in. Yet, how all of this "fitting in" turns out is still very much up in the air.

If those representing "gay marriage opposition" want to have any say in how this "fitting in" will occur it is time for them to stop pretending that this will all just blow over.

"Society" is not something carved in stone. It is liquid. Sometimes a raging river, sometimes a peaceful spring but always moving. Things are going to change. They always have and they always will. Those that oppose gay rights and gay marriage would be doing themselves and the whole of society a great service if they would uncover their eyes and ears and step up to help find some middle-ground.

It is time to start behaving like responsible adults and start working together to ease society through this change rather then acting like frighten children, being dragged kicking and screaming into an inevitable future.

I don't know what the solution to this conflict is but I do know that if you don't join in to help shape the solution you shouldn't expect the outcome to be anything you like.